Three years have passed…
Yet, you’re still alive in our minds and hearts.
It was my Superman’s birthday yesterday, and he might turn 59 now.
However, we decided to celebrate his birthday with a yummy spaghetti c/o Ate Len for the sponsorship of groceries, Anne for her newfound cooking prowess, and my Ate Mean, Ate Yna, and myself, too, in assisting her to prepare the ingredients.
Then, we paved him a visit after the feast at his new home for three years now.
Wishin’ him happiness and peace wherever he may be.
Ako ay isang masugid na tagahanga ng dagat. Kahit hindi kame naninirahan malapit dito, tila parating buhay sa aking balintataw ang nasilayang kagandahan nito.
Kakaibang saya ang dala sa akin ng bawat hampas ng alon na humahalik sa dalampasigan. Tila nagpaparamdam na kahit anong layo ng pampang, darating ang panahong maaabutan din ng alon ang mga naghihintay na buhanging uhaw sa tubig-alat.
Katulad ng aking pangungulila sa taong mahalaga ang naging parte upang mabuo ang aking pagkatao – ang aking kapitan.
Nalalapit na ang pagwawakas ng bakasyon at tag-init. Magbabadya na naman ang tag-ulan. At sa buwan ng Hunyo, sasapit ang pinakamahalagang araw kung kelan siya’y nailuwal sa mundo.
Ang mahalagang okasyon na ito ay saktong pumapatak rin sa paghihirang sa mga magigiting na haligi ng tahanan. Tamang-tama na pagbubunyi para siya’y pasalamatan sa lahat ng pagmamahal, pagsisikap at sakripisyo para maitaguyod ang aming pamilya.
Lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa maraming sandaling kayo’y naging tatay sa amin. Sa kabila ng mga balakid, napatunayan ninyo pa rin na kayo’y isang matatag na haligi na aming sandigan at pinatunayan ninyong kayo ang tamang lalaking magmamahal sa aming mahal na ina.
Hindi pa rin naman maiwawaglit sa akin na minsang mapaluha at mangulila sa inyong aruga. Malungkot mang pakaisipin na hindi ka na namen kapiling sa mundong ibabaw, alam ko, nabubuhay kayong mas masaya saan man kayo naglalayag.
At kahit anong mangyari, ako ang masugid ninyong tagahanga sa bawat alon na likha ng inyong paglalayag sa dagat ng alaala.
Hello, does anyone hear me from my despair? I need even just an ear to listen my latest sentiments. I felt like a “nothing”, thought I was really unlucky for this month of April.
This month felt like it was August already. Just recently, I thought myself like a warrior facing a lot of chaos these past few days. Not that I’m very superstitious, huh, but I just figured this out based on the events happened all throughout that month.
April 1, the so-called April Fool’s Day, is really a foolish day for our family since my father passed away on that exact date. So, the first day of that month brought us a sad past to remember already. However, we were trying our best to move on since we all know and hope that tatay is happy up there.
It’s just that upon reminiscing that day, it brought me dark past that I would never ever wished to happen in my life. In my heart, he is still alive because during his days, he filled my heart a lot of good memories.
At work, I had collected a bunch of error feedbacks from the tasks done, and those mostly gave a bunch of headaches to my team leader. (Sigh) Maybe, those frequent- error incidences added to my TL’s decision not to include me to his cluster.
Anyways, I’m just feeling some self-pity. Jeez! I felt really sorry and sad about what happened. I knew the must-to-do, the process and SOP, but then, I maybe too distracted of some sort of things.
I’m still clinging that I could stay in a company for a year or longer and I could love the work I have right now. Some sort of contentment could help me and a lot of focus and dedication for my present job.
Then, my Mama Letty almost passed away when April nearly ended. This was the saddest and the night I’ve ever feared of ever for this year. My older sister Len and I rushed her to the hospital. I was so furious at that time, and I may say that was the longest time for us until we wait for her to get back in normal condition.
Before that hospital incident, my Mama and our family had this little misunderstanding. We seldom see each other, nor we visit her that often after the family chaos. Then one night, I prayed solely that hatred in my Mama’s heart would be washed away and I left it to God’s way.
I felt half happy and quite guilty since even if it’s a tragic incident, we still reconciled afterwards.
I didn’t pray for her to be hospitalized just for her and our family to be at good terms again. But then, I just realized that maybe, it was really the way God wanted it to be. I just thanked Him afterwards for that. I am just wishing for my Mama to continuously recover from sickness and have greater faith in Him still.
Upon waking up the next day, she said so sorry for her rudeness before we rushed her to the hospital. Fortunately, after a week or two, she went out from the hospital and then came home safely but doctor advised that she still needed to undergo operation.
I just realized, life is unpredictable and it can be so short. No one knows how long our stay would be on earth. With those so much life realizations, what I really keep noted is that faith in God is the most important thing to cling on for a person nearly dying or losing hope.
God is really miraculous. I must say, and He is really a good teacher to give me such tests of life for this month.
It’s not proper for me to think everyone is deaf from my despair, that I am nothing and useless. God did remind me that He created us and gave us life because He knows that we do have purpose in life, and I count myself in.
Definitely, “someone” did listen to me. He didn’t offer me just an ear, but both ears, too. What would I ask for, eh? =)
Celia Mari 5/14/12
Change rules the hand of our fate.
It is a constant flow rushing to man’s life.
That’s why the saying “the only change is constant” is still valid to everyone’s principle. We need change in every aspect of living, either for better or for worse.
But many are so afraid of changing ‘coz there are things we hoped and prayed not to change – a picture of a peaceful living. Everything is in place, safe and sound.
This is impossible. This is pure fiction ‘coz for one to have a fruitful journey on Earth is to take a dynamic path.
As for myself, doubt and fear pull me back inside my comfort box to enjoy the lifeless routine but having a glimpse on the world outside pushes me to open up my mind that I have missed a lot of things – chances and opportunities far broader than what I have at this moment.
Many are so used on my whining over things coming into his life and maybe they are so pissed off hearing those from me. They could not understand me in some ways, I know, and I felt sorry to feel this way – searching for something that I don’t know what it certainly is. I just knew that there’s something still empty that I want to fill in by something. And that’s ‘something’ is still unknown. Even I, myself, cannot define that ‘something’.
Sounds ironic, isn’t it? Maybe, I’m going crazy. Hola.
I have come to realize that life is indeed mysterious that even the wisest philosopher cannot detect that hanging mystery of life. The technique so not to be confused is to live life as it is, fully at its best. No wasted moment, time, or chance.
Just let live, love, and believe, and go on with the changes that are coming in your way.
As change is constantly drawing our fate, we should find ways to execute those changes into something we want it to be.
Yes, change rules but still, we are the rulers of our destiny.
Why are you so bitter? Seems like you’d like to get back what has been given. bawi-bawi? O_O
Everyone lives in this world because of his/her purpose.
The only challenge is to wisely figure out what it is during our existence. Because, if we gone late to know or realize it, then, regret comes in. And, you’d be likely want to pull those wasted time when you did things not aligned with your true intention in this world.
As they say, life is really a tough journey. The toughest it is, the mightiest a person will be as he/she gets in the finish line. But, it still depends on how he/she acts to make life worthy in the end. So, we must do remember the chess rule: wrong move, last touch.
Dear Good Lord,
Thank you fo letting me stay here in the company for six months and 1 day (and hopeflully more days or years if i can). I just realized yesterday that, “Oh, it was really true that I’ve made it that long to stick in a company.” ha-ha.
I apologize if there were times when i questioned your blessings. Hope you can still forgive me for my being so disrespectful. I will keep in mind not to question you thus will just understand the things that come into my life.
Thank you very much and may you still give me guidance and your Holy Spirit in my every face to life.